Thursday, May 20, 2010

Tuesday, May 18th. I have been in Ukraine for 9 days and this is my first time posting to the blog. Dave & I are sitting outside the Notaries office while Oles is taking care of business. I'm a little foggy so bear with me...
This trip is certainly different than our first trip. Let me say that I was somewhat aware that there are ALWAYS issues that arise when traveling to Ukraine to adopt. I was prepared (somewhat) for that but traveling & maintaining a group of 5, plus Cody, Oles and now Ruslana & Deeana (Elliott's sister & her daughter)is definitely a challenge! Last trip there was some down time but I haven't found it yet!

I actually haven't read what Dave has posted yet (too busy)but I hear you all have been well informed on our itinerary, food and his piva and wi-fi finds! I will just tell you some interesting observations and some heart stuff and details about the boys reactions and happenings.

Cody Aleksander (still trying to get use to his name)is dreamy. Yes, we changed his name (he wanted an American name) and it had to be done in Kiev before traveling to Berdyansk. This was so I could sign off on Dave bringing him home without me. We are traveling back a few weeks before him so the boys can get back in school. Seeing him for the first time in 3 ½ years was sureal. All these thoughts swimming through my head, remembering all the prayers for him over the past 3 years, wondering what he is thinking, feeling, what is he going to be like. He walked through the door and my heart leaped and melted at the same time. He was totally overwhelmed, nervous and excited and could barely speak. His bottom lip was quivering but his eyes were glistening! Cody is REALLY tiny for his age. He is 15 ½ but looks 12. He has GREAT hair...sandy blonde, nice texture and a nice wave. Plush eyelashes just like his sister, Tobi and his eyes are a beautiful green in color. His cheeks flush easily and has a smile that lights up a room. Yep, he's pretty much perfect!

I'm back...it's now Thursday, May 20th. Had to stop a few days ago because we were on the move to Zaporizhzha and then Dave & Oles stayed in Zap and sent me home in a taxi by myself.

I'm going to try to stay away from all the details of itinerary and food (however crazy & good) and get to the emotional/relationship stuff. As I write this I am sighing. Too much to tell without enough time. Three boys from Ukraine. Three boys with a past. Three boys who have left/leaving family behind.

Elliott bears the burden of a sister who is just surviving (his words) as a single Mother who because of her heritage (gypsy)most Ukranians choose to ignore. His emotions are high because of the plight of his family & friends. He is spread thin between his sister, his homework, his friends, his new brother and doing ministry. I think he will collapse when he gets back to the US!

On Monday Nicky 30-year-old half brother shows up that he forgot he had, AND Wednesday his biological Mother shows up with tons of drama and tears. (LONG STORY) Nicky showed her affection because she extremely emotional. He said he felt sorry for her but felt no love, that it was like hugging a stranger. Nicky told us that when you hug your Mom you are suppose to feel comfort, but he felt no comfort like he does with me. He said that I am his real Mom. Not sure he has really processed it all. I know I haven't.

Then there is Cody. It took 5 hours for his sister to sign the document allowing for him to be adopted without her. He was so relieved when it was over, we all were! She even came out smiling, which was truly a miracle and an answer to many prayers! Cody has only seen her once since she moved to another orphanage 8 years ago. My heart went out to her, she is afraid we will disappear with him and she will never see or hear from him again. We tried to console her, explaining that we have kept in contact with Elliott and Nicky's sisters. Some of you have ask why we are separating them. He has a strong desire to be adopted. I have carried a burden for him over 3 years. We were not approved by our homestudy to adopt more than one child, a boy. There will be two boys to a room. As much as I would like to see her get adopted, it just won't work for our family. He doesn't really have a relationship as brother/sister as we who have grown up with siblings have. He went to the orphanage at age 5 and she was at the same orphanage for two years. Children in the orphanage are separated by their sex and their age. They lived under the same roof at the orphanage for two years but not as a family. We will pray for Katya and do the best we can to keep the two in communication with each other. We have agreed to take Cody back to her orphanage for this weekend. Dave will take a bus (two hours)& drop him off tomorrow and come back. Sunday he will go get him. She has ask for two weekends before he leaves. It is inconvenient, but necessary.

Tyler is a joy to have here. He has been a real trooper. He is enjoying the different culture & food and making lots of observations. He said Berdyansk was much different than he thought. He is anxious to be able to talk to Cody, as are we! He told me today he was ready to hear some English and when he gets home he was going to pay attention to conversations that even other people were having (like at a restaurant). His new favorite thing is hot tea (black). He wants it 3-4 times a day, but I am holding him down to two! Tyler & Nicky watch an episode of McGyver at night before bed and love it! They are so funny!

So much more to tell. Maybe another day. Time to gather the troop and go eat! Feeding this family is a daily issue! I know, I know what you are thinking...GET USED TO IT!! :-)

5 comments:

Passanita Family said...

Wow, thanks Kathie for sharing all of that! What an emotional time for everyone. And I thought my house was a little crazy! Cody seems like great boy and we all know he is perfect in God's eyes too! It must have been hard for Nicky to see the biological mother but I'm sure it made your heart melt to hear him say you were his real mom.
Praying for rest and comfort and peace through the rest of the journey.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the update and blessings on your amazing journey. We think you are rolling well with the punches!!!! Praying today for safe travels as you zoom about the countryside in search of sugnatures and approvals.
The Henrys

Kevin and Kim McCormack said...

Unreal, you guys. My heart goes out to Elliot. He is so compassionate, this has got to be really hard for him. The pics he posted were hilarius. Kairos has been praying for you every day, and we pray together. We both can't wait til you get back. Remember, Kathie, that I am home all day and can take them whenever you need a break. What an awesome story you are making. And the main character is God!

The Quirams said...

What an amazing adventure you all are having! Thank you for the pictures! It makes us miss Oles and Ukraine. Cody looks so happy!
God Bless YOU all and keep you under the shelter of his wings.
Love, Charlene & Tim Q

Marcia DiMattia said...

Love the pictures- really love the pictures. I feel like I am on the trip with you...I get my piva in hand and start reading...
miss you!
Marcia